Tag Archive for: comfort zone

Getting out of your comfort zone

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A few days ago, I did something that took me firmly out of my comfort zone!

Solidly.

Let me explain.

For almost 20 years, I’ve had a tradition. That of joining my voice to those of the members of the choir where my father was director of the church choir for many years, for midnight mass. Every Christmas, I sing with them. Not only does it give me pleasure, it does me a lot of good.

Singing is one of the elements of joy. You know that, don’t you? If you don’t, you’re not receiving my newsletters or seeing my videos, because I often talk about it. I invite you to do so to change your energy, get rid of the gloom, breathe!

Last July, we moved out of the city where we’d lived for 25 years and relocated to my hometown. The intention was to be closer to my parents.

So I suggested to the choir leaders that I join them.

So far, nothing to report (although moving after 25 years in the same place does take you out of your comfort zone).

Occasionally, choir members are called upon to sing at funerals. At Mom’s funeral last May, we were delighted to have them sing what Mom certainly enjoyed hearing.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, we were preparing the songs for the funeral of a man who left his mark on the town’s development, and one of the songs was giving us a hard time. Hugo, the resident organist, suggested that it be done by a soloist instead.

I really like this song…

I don’t know how to explain it, but it was as if I felt myself being pulled forward to say “I can sing it!

I “auditioned” and to my great surprise, she was entrusted to me…

The next day, I regretted raising my hand and sent a message to say that if they preferred a male voice or someone else, it was really more than OK with me!

I was retreating into my comfort zone.

The best part was that right up until the rehearsal before the ceremony began, I offered to let someone else sing!

But I was the one who had to do it.

So I did!

And I sang well!

I was afraid of several things. Firstly, that my heart would get heavy and I’d cry as I sang the lyrics that touched me (my mother’s funeral wasn’t that long ago, and the emotion still grips me quite often)… but above all, I was afraid of revealing myself. Of revealing a more intimate part of myself. My singing voice. All alone in front of people.

With the job I do, talking about the benefits of laughter in front of hundreds of people, doing live TV, it gives me a bit of stage fright, yes, but I manage it with ease! But singing on my own? Phew!

Crazy, isn’t it? Maybe, but that’s how I felt.

Once the song was finished, I couldn’t tell you how I felt! A mixture of pride, strength, humility and the feeling of great possibility!

Have you noticed how much we like it when everything runs smoothly, when life seems tidy, familiar and predictable?
And yet… that’s rarely where the magic happens.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a bit like diving into cold water. At first, your whole body screams no! You want to pull back, go back to what you know. But if you stay a while, you discover something else: a shiver of vitality, a spark, a new energy.

Discomfort is often a sign that you’re learning, growing, opening yourself up to new possibilities. Yes, it takes courage. Yes, it can sometimes be a bit of a rollercoaster ride. But it’s also when you discover unsuspected strengths, facets of yourself you’d never met before.

What if, today, you took a small step out of your comfort zone? Not a dizzying leap, just one step – enough to feel that slight inner tremor that says, “Oh, I’m alive!”

Your mission, if you accept it 😉: do something today that takes you (a little!) out of your comfort zone. And observe what it awakens in you.

With all my affection (and admiration for your courage!)

Laughter, joy and health

Linda

The gaze of others

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I’ll never forget the first laughter yoga session I invited a friend from Montreal to.

I won’t forget the distraught look on her face during the exercises either! It was obvious she was wondering what she’d gotten herself into! (Just thinking about it makes me smile to this day).

I had just completed my training as a Laughter Yoga facilitator in the spring of 2003, and was highly motivated to continue practicing my exercises and determined to share the benefits of the method with my friends.

M (I’ll call him M here) had agreed to accompany me to a session of the Montreal Laughter Club while I was in town, on the very day that a meeting was taking place.

The facilitator begins the session, and the group gets down to work on the exercises.

Let’s just say that his animation was different from what I’d experienced up to that point, and I didn’t feel as comfortable as I had during my training. But hey. I was there and I did it.

It was when I saw my friend’s distraught and perplexed look as we wished each other a warm welcome that I really started laughing! I KNEW what she was thinking!

But what is this? It doesn’t make sense!

M has a great sense of humor. She’s also a pretty serious person. If you’re familiar with color personality types, she’s a “blue”. I’d describe her as cautious and analytical. That’s not to say she doesn’t know how to have fun, but this intentional laughter program was taking her WAY out of her comfort zone. VERY FAR!

The gaze of others

I see this in the groups I work with. A woman will bring her life partner or a friend. Or work colleagues. The person participates happily and laughs heartily during the exercises. The partner, friend or colleague does not. And what’s more, he or she looks at the other person as if to say,“You owe me one!”

Not easy for the person who sees that his guest or colleague is judging, has a reproachful and eloquent look on his face.

I can see them having even more fun!

A bit like me, who started laughing harder when I saw how my friend looked like a fish out of water. When she saw me laughing at her perplexity, she laughed a little too. She knew I knew!

She might well have been angry about it and thought I was laughing at her. Come to think of it, it might have looked like that indeed. HAHA!

What actually happened was that I know her very well and I sensed her perplexity and discomfort. I knew!

Where am I going with all this?

HAHA! I’ve found over the years that intentional laughter probably isn’t for everyone.

Even if physically it is, some people’s rational side is so strong that it prevents them from fully living the experience and letting go of the mind.

The big, responsible, serious people we become over the years almost all have a challenge at this level. Letting go of the mind to stay in the physical experience. I know because I’ve had this challenge myself.

How do I look? It’s not funny, so why should I laugh? Nonsense…

This is where giving yourself the PERMISSION to do something different is essential.

The worst that could happen?
  • That we laughed (even at nothing) for a few minutes.
  • That we feel lighter and less stressed.
  • That we have been able to forge positive links with the people who are with us.
  • That we were able to be in the moment for a while.
  • That we feel free of a weight.

If that’s the worst of it, I want the worst in my life!

No one can judge or evaluate anyone, because everyone does the exercises at the same time, at the signal of the person who launches the exercise. No one is put “under the spotlight” because everyone is doing the same thing, at the same time.

I think that’s the beauty of intentional laughter sessions for people who are afraid of being judged by others. It’s impossible to judge someone when we’re doing the same thing they’re doing!

There’s something about laughing all at once “on command” that’s reassuring for the mind, which might be tempted to panic. HAHAHA! Laughter brings people together.

So the next time you catch someone looking at you doubtfully and critically while you’re intentionally laughing, just tell yourself that they might not be able to let go of their mind long enough to laugh with you!

And that’s fine.

To each his own.

I made my own… Have you?

Laughter, joy and health

Linda

P.S. If I had stopped laughing when I saw M that day because I felt judged, you wouldn’t be reading this today!

P.P.S. M is still my friend! hehehe!